ms_zang’s blog

aka The Virgin Queen / The Faerie Queen

whose mother died when she was three
though heir to the throne, was considered illegitimate
considered the most educated woman of her generation
sent away by her family at the age of 13, accused of having affairs with a 40 man
imprisoned under house arrest for a year by her sister, accused of being a rebel and her threat to Mary's throne
rose and earned her right as queen at the age of 25 when Mary fell

"... and yet, considering I am God's creature, ordained to obey His appointment, I will thereto yield, desiring from the bottom of my heart that I may have assistance of His grace to be the minister of His heavenly will in this office now committed to me."

Intelligent, wise, eloquent, prudent, discreet in speech
Bold, self-assured, confident
Focused, driven, powerful
Thrives on the love for her people and on the love of her people
Aware of the supernatural and her mortality/limitations
Trusts deeply in God
Known as the Queen of the Golden Age where England prospered
Of which her reign birthed forth the era of literary greats like Shakespeare

"There is only one Christ, Jesus, one faith. All else is a dispute over trifles."
(Elizabeth's response to the Catholic/Protestant divide)

"I have already joined myself in marriage to a husband, namely the kingdom of England."
(Elizabeth to Parliament)

"If I were turned out of my realm in my petticoat, I would prosper anywhere in Christendom."
 

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king."
(Tilbury speech, 1588. See section on The Spanish Armada)
 

"He that will forget God, will also forget his benefactors."
(Elizabeth to William Lambarde, 1601)

Look, what a mere woman can do . One who leans on God.

According to the "Contingencies of Self-Worth model" (Crocker & Wolfe, 2001) people differ in their bases of self-esteem. Their beliefs — beliefs about what they think they need to do or who they need to "be" in order to class as a person of worth — form these bases. Crocker and her colleagues (2001) identified seven "domains" in which people frequently derive their self-worth, including:

1. virtue
2. God’s love
3. support of family
4. academic competence
5. physical attractiveness
6. gaining others' approval

Individuals who base their self-worth in a specific domain (such as, for example, academic success) leave themselves much more vulnerable to having their self-esteem threatened when negative events happen to them within that domain (such as when they fail a test at school). 

Some research has shown that external contingencies of self-worth, such as physical appearance and academic success, correlate negatively to well-being, even promoting depression and eating-disorders (Jambekar, Quinn, & Crocker, 2001).

Other work has found internal contingencies, on the other hand, unrelated or even positively related to well-being (Sargent, Crocker, & Luhtanen, 2006).

Research by Crocker and her colleagues also suggests that contingencies of self-worth have self-regulatory properties (Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, & Bouvrette, 2003). Crocker et al. define successful self-regulation as “the willingness to exert effort toward one’s most important goals, while taking setbacks and failures as opportunities to learn, identify weaknesses and address them, and develop new strategies toward achieving those goals” (Crocker, Brook, & Niiya, 2006).

Since many individuals strive for a feeling of worthiness, it makes sense that those people would experience special motivation to succeed and actively to avoid failure in the domains on which they base their own self-worth.

Accordingly, successful self-regulation can prove difficult for people aiming to maintain and enhance their self-esteem, because they would have to actually embrace failure or criticism as a learning-opportunity, rather than avoid it.

Instead, when a task which individuals see as fundamental to their self-worth proves difficult and failure seems probable, contingencies of self-worth lead to stress, feelings of pressure, and a loss of intrinsic motivation.

On the other hand, the positive emotional affect following success in a domain of contingency may become addictive for the highly contingent individual (Baumeister & Vohs, 2001). Over time, these people may require even greater successes to achieve the same satisfaction or emotional “high”.

Therefore, the goal to succeed can become a relentless quest for these individuals (Crocker & Nuer, 2004).

In these cases, highly contingent people may withdraw from the situation.

In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

1. $299 Digital Camera 7.2 megapixels & Chocolate Cake from parents
2. $210 Goldheart White Gold Diamond cross necklace from Sister
3. $150 hongbao & Handphone pouch M(phosis & Oreo Cheese Cake from Rive Gauche from colleagues
4. $50 hongbao from Corporate Beverage Director Treys Ladrido
5. $100 Tangs Vouchers from Liz,Val,Matt,Josh,Stuart
   
6. $100 hongbao from Godmother
7. $100 Vouchers from cell group & 21 beautiful cupcakes
   
8. $30 ISETAN vouchers from Bi Qing
9. $100 Shirt from SKIN boutique from Carol
10. $80 Gifts from cousins: 1 Cardigan, 1 Notebook Keyboard Cover from Club 21 & KBox Session
11. Starbucks Chocolate Cake, Free Lunch + Pedicure from Sarah Manager
12. Chocolate Fondue with fruits
13. Stayover at Pan Pacific Hotel, Complimentary Breakfast
14. Italian Glass Necklace from Jon Lee
    
15. Joyce Meyer book from Hooper & Shaun Tan
16. Deserts at Nectarie, Clarke Quay from Kelly
17. Ferero Rocher Bouquet from Shaun Teo
18. Boxing glove massager and Royce Chocolates from Kay Boon
19. Gold Wristlet Juicy Couture, New york from Evangeline
20. Hazelnut Latte from Caleb Cheang
21. lost my handphone BUT it was returned the next day.

Lastly, a toast to:

the BEST year of my life (God/Career/Family/Relationship/Friendship/Finances)

crying out...     for
Justice

                                              He hears
              

    and we know...... 
                                                              all will be fair

~~~Vindicate me~~ Restore to me that which the locusts have taken~~~~
~~~Protect me~~ Uphold my cause~~ Overthrow the wicked~~~

Thank You ..

For this 21 years of my life, everything bad I've seen You turn it for GOOD

For nothing has been wasted.. even though I repeatedly threw my life away and tried to destroy myself

For I went through hell, so now I know how sweet and glorious heaven will be

For the pre-destined plan You exclusively authored, tailored and engineered to steer me to You always

Although there are scars, I regret nothing.

For though I stole myself away from You, it made me dig deeper into my soul and I know I never needed anything else but You.

Having gone thro the process of recovering from an incredible inferior self-esteem for 7 years, my esteem dipped a little recently... I was stayin up at night lying on my bed and thinking about God.. then.. He caused me to wake up and turn on my comp in the darkness of my room... and thus He prompted me to type this :

Man's Manifesto:

I am made in the likeness of God: Body, Soul, Spirit

I can walk with the confidence and boldness of the Most High God

I AM the original intention God had for Adam

I AM the likeness of Jesus

I have God's wisdom I have God's thoughts
Thoughts are my tools, pictures subject to my choice to depict

My existence took all of the Almighty God to procreate, just so I can love Him with my own will.

I have a God-will that always make a way for me.

Worry and Fear should never be a reality/influence/choice/stronghold for me. They are fleeting redundant emotions without substance.

I am the living CHURCH
I house the presence of the Living God

I can command my body

I have dominion over all in the sky, land, water... even in the supernatural realm

Wherever my feet threads upon, I will conquer

Impossibilities are deceptions never meant to be understood by my orginal genetic make-up

Life Time, a parenthesis of God's existence but the alpha and omega of ours, is an essence for me to fully utilize to God's glory.

Control is an automatic state of being that comes with being human

I exist solely to love God, to be in His plan to restore other human kind

The natural, unnatural and supernatural cannot faze me... God lords over all

[ after i typed this i was worried that i might sound arrogant and too full of myself but this IS man's manifesto.. and at the same time i know my fallibilities and i want to be careful to guard my walk and work out this salvation with reverence]

Dear all,

Thank you for viewing my blog. This is a tool of my expression and a better way to get to know me.

My main purpose in having a blog is to force myself to "pen" my thoughts and my revelations. Or else my brain gets rusty.

And also to share useful information.

Pardon my lousy use of the language.

This is a general blog - food fashion fodder for thought

One thing that is constant - photos and edited photos of myself..

CHEERS!

Warm regards,
Clarice